Anxiety Treatment – Who’s Joining You for Dinner?
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
–Steve Jobs
The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within.
–Mahatma Gandhi
I don’t know about you but I find myself listening to many different voices throughout the day and most of them are inside of me…
There’s the…
Bright and cheery “it’s a beautiful day” voice…
The “glass is more than half full” voice…
The “I can conquer the world” voice…
but then there’s also…
The “I am discouraged” voice…
The “I’m scared and stressed” voice…
and the “I will never make it” voice…
Do any of you relate or am I just speaking to myself here???
The longer I have been on my journey of life the more I am sure of one thing…
There is one true voice that is “me”… the “me” I was created to be…
All other voices are noise and distraction from the “me” I want to live my life as.
The true “me” is always there and his voice speaks words of life, wisdom, strength and Truth… it is however a quiet voice and I cannot hear it unless I am able to silence all the other voices screaming for attention.
The other voices are those of my ego, of my past hurts, my insecurities, my fears and doubts…
These voices realize they are simply a facade… an impostor… an inaccurate reflection of something genuine and authentic and as a result are constantly jockeying for position and survival.
For years I tried to beat these other voices down… to eliminate and kill them… or if nothing else to resist and bury them.
Then I came to realize, even though I don’t like how they influence me, they are still a part of this person I am at this point in my life… like it or not I have baggage that still needs to be neatly stowed away.
I love analogies and my analogy today is one of a banqueting table.
Imagine you are having a large group of people over for supper… this is going to be a big spread and you want it to be the best meal ever.
Your guest list is diverse… you have friends and family… acquaintances… people from work… your boss… teachers from school and neighbors from down the street.
There will be many different voices at this table… some of them dear to your heart and some of them come with history which has brought you pain.
Good or bad these people are all a part of your life and have all had a say in the person you are today.
How will you deal with the conversation at the table?
Will you allow the bully to dominate because they have the loudest voice?
Or will it be the drama queen because she can manipulate and control the room?
What about the victim who needs someone to feel sorry for them?
How about the anxious and fearful voice with their list of anxieties?
Or will you just let everyone talk at once?
Wait a minute…
We almost forgot…
This is YOUR dinner…
So why is everyone else taking over?
Anxiety Treatment – Who’s Joining You for Dinner?
Just thought I’d remind you of the title of this post… are you starting to see why I called it “Anxiety Treatment – Who’s Joining You for Dinner?” now?
We only get one life and its up to us to make it the best it can be.
There are countless other voices and influences and some of them are incredibly strong, controlling and manipulative but in the end it is still our life and we ultimately decide which voices we give room in our head and our hearts.
One thing I have found very helpful is to not attack these other voices like a dragon to be slain but rather be at peace with them.
For the moment they are a voice at your banquet table but that does not mean you have to let them control the conversation or interrupt who you want to be speaking.
I encourage you to stop resisting the other voices… accept them exactly as they are…
BUT….
With your true inner voice tell them who is boss now.
The real “you” as of today is going to be leading now…
It’s ok to let the other voices talk as long as you (the real you) controls the conversation.
Going back to our dinner analogy, if the bully were to start intimidating the other guests with his loud, brash personality the real you could calmly thank him for joining the group for dinner and knowing he is simply looking for attention probably from being rejected at a younger age you could dialogue with him in a healthy manner while assuring him he matters…
Remember all these other voices are there for a reason and are looking for “something” but only know one way to get it… its only the real you who knows what they REALLY need.
When a baby is crying it only knows one thing… it is hungry and wants to be fed… if he knew how to walk to the fridge and get a bottle he would but he isn’t capable…
It’s the same way with the other voices inside of us… they are crying to be fed… they don’t know what to do about it they just want you to know they aren’t happy.
When you acknowledge their presence in your life, and let them know their needs matter they will begin to quiet down allowing you to be more attune to the real you.
I encourage you to make a list of the regular voices you have at your banquet table… and even give them names…
There could be Bully Bob…
Drama Donna…
Manipulative Mary…
Anxious Al…
Please forgive me if any of you are named Bob, Donna, Mary or Al… just an analogy remember
Then in the future when you hear that all too familiar voice taking over the table… begin to speak to it with your true inner voice… acknowledge their presence and their hurt and needs…. listen to them but don’t allow them to take control.
When “enough is enough” thank them for sharing but let them know that is all for now.
The real you knows when it’s time to focus on something else and can remain in control the entire time.
I find this to be an extremely effective anxiety treatment method.
Who’s joining you for dinner? Make a list and then begin giving the reins back to your true voice.